Sorry I haven't been around for a while. We had some news which gutted me and I thank those of you who emailed me hoping I was okay. I thank one of you for dedicating a post to me. You know who you are. Some of you know my story, some of you do not.
Here is my story.
I had been counting down to last week as I had plans on posting this for all of you;
However, last week I received test results for this pregnancy which basically floored me. I was a mess. After my 12 week scan mixed with my blood results and my maternal age, things are not good. I have learnt a lot in terms of three conditions this baby could have. Trisomy 21, Trisomy 13 and Trisomy 18. 21 is known as Down Syndrome. I have a 1 in 8 chance this is the case. 13 and 18 are usually fatal, with the born baby not surviving, most dying within a week of being birthed, I have a 1 in 2 chance. What odds hey? Crap.Big Little Sister?Sister Little Big?Sister Big Little?Big Sister Little?Little Sister Big?No...no....I've got it now...Little Big Sister.That's what Monet is going to be, come March 2009.I know, a big move AND a baby on its way. We don't do things by halves around here. We're rapt to bits.*yay*
We have done lots of soul searching here and lots of why me? why us? how come? Yeah, we've been a barrel of laughs around here. But I'm okay. I have had time to digest what is going on. I have had answers from people in the know and I am accepting of what may (or may not) happen. I have a brilliant girlfriend up here who has been a life saver (of sorts). I have a couple of close friends in Melbourne, who have been supportive and our families too.
I have further testing to undergo in the very near future.
Don't feel sorry for me. Do not judge our decision, what ever that may be. Remember that many women travel along this road I am on. Just keep us in your thoughts and send positive vibes my way!
If you know me but you choose not to post a comment (I know there are are a few of you), please don't go around telling everyone this. This is our personal battle, our news, our business(can you tell we are originally from a small town?) and I'm choosing to tell the news here because my blog friends have expressed concern. It also helps me by seeing it written down. (Maybe I should've written this in a personal journal! *heehee*)
We've had some tough battles to fight in the past. This is the toughest yet.
42 comments:
Oh. That's rough. I'm so sorry.
However, I hope the outcome is the best scenario possible. Good vibes being sent your way.
Absolutely good vibes coming your way, Melody... and hugs!
I re-read this again to see if there was a chance the tests could be wrong this early in the game. Hoping, but reading it a second time it seems not. :
Hugs.
Dear Dear Melody....whatever you decide....
I am with you, 150%.
I know this has to be such a difficult heartfelt place to be....You and yours will make the right decision for you! And that is all that matters.
God Bless, my dear dear Melody. I know...I truly do know, that whatever you three decide, will be right and correct for you.
I SEND YOU ALL MY LOVE!
How heart wrenching for all of you. Sending loads of good vibes your way.
No judgement here, just support.
Oh man, Melody. That is massive news to deal with. It sounds like you're getting some good personal support - I hope so.
I don't feel sorry for you as in pity, but I do feel for you. And I can guarantee no judgement from me on your decisions whatever they may be.
Take care of yourselves. Positive vibes to infinity.
Absolutely no judgements here - what a wrenching thing. Lots of hugs.
When I initially wrote this post I thought twice about posting it. I'm thankful I did as you have no idea how wonderful your words are. My mother-in-law text me when she read this post and said 'well done'.
I need people to know that this can happen to anyone and to cherish what you already have.
I wish you well for all and any roads you cross. What will be will be. All the the best.
I have been through something very similar to your situation. It was one of the toughest decisions I had to make and it was an extremely difficult path, but I've come out on top. You are in my thoughts, people can't judge what you are going through, they have no idea unless being there themselves.
Take care, you have a lot of support.
I am always astounded at the optimism of humanity. This is one of those scenarios that could happen to anyone when having children. It is one of those 'what if...' thoughts that pops into our heads regardless of whether we have had tests to give us more concrete information. If we all dwelled on these thoughts none of us would ever get out of bed in the morning!
I'm sure that you have had a million thoughts swirl around your brain and come up with a million solutions and bargains along the way. You have managed to hold yourself and speak with dignity and intelligence. None of us can judge unless we have walked in your shoes, but all of us can listen when you are ready to talk. Sometimes that is what is really needed.
Your decisions are well considered, so they are the right ones for you. I have every confidence that you and your family will know what to do when you need to.
warm thoughts...
I think you're fab.
xx
Melody,
I am so very sorry...My daughter Serena was diagnosed with trisomy 13 almost 11 years ago and to this day I can still remember how very painful it was to hear those words from our doctor. We did not have the understanding of the diagnosis or the support of the medical community and we were pressured to make a decision I regret to this day...I understand how very personal and painful this journey is.
Please know you are not alone, and that there is support for you if you need it...The MISS Foundation has an online support board for families whose children receive a life-limiting diagnosis and you are welcome to register for access to the board. www.missfoundation.org The Foundation is neither pro-life or pro-choice and supports all families...There is also a support board for families whose children have been diagnosed with trisomy 13...The Living with Trisomy 13 support board offers parents who choose to carry their children to term prenatal support and information on trisomy 13. www.livingwithtrisomy13.org ...There is also a support and information board for parents based in Australia...The board is for all parents who are seeking information... www.trisomyoz.bounce.com.au/#
If there is anything I can do for you, please let me know...
Laurie-Beth
Melody, you do not know me, but at this point in time I feel like I know your innermost thoughts and battles. 4 years ago, my little boy Kai was diagnosed with Trisomy 13.
I have played the waiting game your playing, the hope that you're not that ONE. And at the moment I am praying and hoping that your not that ONE, and as a little thread of hope, I am a midwife and have seen people given the 1 in 2 chance and have been lucky to have a healthy baby.
I am hoping and praying that you have a healthy little person on board. My heart is breaking at the thought of anyone having to walk this walk.
Without online support and journaling my travels, I'm not sure how I'd have held up.
Please please make use of your blogging support and any support offered to you regardless of what your final tests reveal.
Huge Hugs to you and your family
PS I am very thankful that you are at home and not in Abu Dhabi at the moment
Dear Melody, Lyndon and Monet, you are all in my thoughts. I am deeply and truly feeling for you all at this very difficult time. Please know that i am here for you no matter what and i will never judge you for whatever decision you make. You are the only ones who can make a life changing decision like this one and I know that you have the strength to carry on regardless of the outcome. You are in my thoughts and i will send every good vibe i have your way. Try to stay positive matie, love always, Kate
More tears my end whilst reading this post, you're so brave and I applaud you for wanting to post your innermost thoughts and doing it.
Like m+b says, take any and all support from those offering it --- you'll never forget this time but one day you will look at it differently.
I am wishing you more courage and I'm glad you're here in Australia right now too.
Melody, my friend. I admire you courage. I know you and Lyndon have a lot to deal with, and that you will do so together. And that you will do what is best for all of you. I offer you all the love and suppor,and a shoulder if you need it albeit long distance.I know all too well that life can be unfair I also know that the hard times make you appreciate the good times all the more. Take care of yourselves.
What a heart-breakingly difficult decision. Whatever you decide will be right and those who love you (even if only in the cyber world) will know that.
Millions of good vibes, lots of hugs, not a speck of judgement and more good thoughts than you can count all heading in your direction.
I´m with everyone else in hoping things are OK for you. But just remember that anything you decided has to be the best decision as no-one can know anything about yourselves better than you. And make sure that you do what you need to do.
Melody and family, my love goes out to you. The decision is yours to make - for all of you - and you shall get no judgement from us at Imaginif. Support and friendship we can offer and a woman's understanding of the heartbreak that goes with these really tough decisions.
Just remember that the reason we have tear ducts is to let the tears come out.
Oh, Melody, I am so sorry that are in this situation. My heart aches for you. I am so very sorry that the little baby living within you might be faced with a touch diagnosis. It has been three years since our daughter, Gemma was diagnosed with T-13 and a severe heart defect. We received her diagnosis at 18 weeks and were blessed with 35 weeks with her while she lived in my womb. She died shortly after birth, but I am so very grateful for the time we had with her. We have a little site in her honor if you’d like to read her story or see her pictures www.ourlittlegemma.com. We have met many beautiful families along the way, along with many little kiddos who survive Triomsy 13 and 18. We never know what God has in store for these precious little ones.
I’ll be praying for a clean bill of health for you precious little baby. Our last born and now healthy one year old was given a “high probability of a chromosomal disorder” and is A-OK. Sending cyber hugs and lots of prayers for you and your little baby.
Dear Melody,
My name is Yvette. We had a little boy named Tristan Asher that was born on December 3, 2007 with Trisomy 18. We were also told all of the statistics, we prayed that our little boy would live 1 day and the Lord blessed us with 56 DAYS!!!
We created a blog right after we were diagnosed and became friends with a lot of moms that were also pregnant with T-18 babies. The names are listed on my blog if you would like to read or connect with other families going through or have gone through the same thing.
Sincerely, Yvette Hostetter
www.tristanasher.blogspot.com
I want to really thank every one of you who have left comments here over the past day. As I said before, I appreciate your words and thoughts and good vibes.
This road has been travelled down by many (many) women, many too with my odds.
You seriously would not wish this on anyone.
Keep your vibes coming friends!
Oh wow, Melody.
I can't begin to understand what you are going through (apart from not wanting to be gossip fodder for small town minds). My thoughts are with you and your family.
No judgements from me. Whatever you decide will be the right decision.
X
Melody, I know it's been a very long time between chats but my thoughts and feelings are with all of you. We didn't know anything was wrong with our Olivia until she was 6 days old and I was going home without her. I thought that was the hardest thing I would have to do - but it wasn't! Blood tests showed she has an unbalanced chromosonal translocation bw 8 and 10. So,believe me I'm up on all the genetic jargon. The geneticists can't really tell us how this will affect her and our lives. This is the hardest, the not knowing how our baby will be but then who knows how Grace will grow up either. Even though every day is an up hill battle with her, I love her with all my heart and never regret bringing her into this world. I know you will feel the same. I might sound like your mum,but the power of prayer has gotten me through my darkest days since Olivia's birth. Keep positive and I'll give you a call in the morning. Lots of love, Paula xxx
A very brave post. Why do tough things always happen to good people. And why does everything always happen at once too. Heart goes out to you and your family, wishing you the best.
Wishing you all all the best whatever the outcome. I don't know you, but I always enjoy your blog and am sorry you're having to go through this.
I am sending supportive vibes and good wishes from the other side of the world. I am so sorry you all have to deal with this but I know you will do just that and come out the other side. Whatever you decide, you have my support. Big hugs to you and take care.
You have all my support and all the good vibes I can send your way. You, Monet and Lyndon are all in my thoughts. Take care.
Oh Melody. I got chills reading this. I am a 42 year old Mum with a 4 year old, we have discussed a lot of these issues and so I can begin to understand what you are going through. I think you are very brave for posting and being so honest. I hope everything works out for the very best, my thoughts are with you. xxx
So sorry to read that news, Melody, I'll send a few positive vibes your way down the range & thinking of you all down there. Ian H
Hi Melody
You have my full support, no matter what.
Stay strong.
David
Hi Melody,
I often read here without comment. What a hard lot of decisions you have to make. Knowing that whatever way you choose to go will be life changing one way or the other.
Just remember whatever decision you make, it's your decision and your life and don't let anyone else sway you.
I'm sad to read the comments and see how many other women have also had to face this hard challenge.
Sending you heaps of love right now,
Em
Bloody hell.
I wish you all the best, come what may, and peace with whatever may happen.
Melody, I think that you are brave and sweet and kind and an amazing mother. You are a true inspiration to us all! I hope that by writing such a brave and heartfelt post that you may be lighter of heart reading all the comments you receive and by knowing that all over the world people are thinking of you and sending you their love and prayers.
I hope and pray that all turns out well for you and your family, keep strong. All my love Julie XX
I hope you know you have my friendship, support in any thing you do.
I've got those vibes going to you...I've heard of readings being wrong. Hugs and good wishes.
You're brave for putting this out there and I'm going to be like Naomi and send you my love!
Hi My Dear Melody....Just stopping by to see how you are doing....! And I am sending you BIG(((((((HUGS))))))))
Oh Melody, what a scary time for you. My thoughts are with you all. Louise xx
Melody, words just cannot express how sorry I am that you are going through such a terrible time. I just found out yesterday that a friend is experiencing the same thing. She is almost 5 months and is going for another ultrasound on Tuesday...now today I check in and read your news. I am hoping for and thinking of both of you, along with lots of others, as you can see. Hang in there.
My heart goes out to you. I can only empathize at what u
you and your family are going through..What ever u decide to do, will be what is best for you. I care for mentally and physically handicapped adults who live in my home...There are so many degrees to these handicaps, that I see in my line of work and among my pears who do the same work as I do. So if there was one thing I can safely say it is that I would never judge you no matter what u decide for you and your family! My thoughts are with you.
Just popped by to send you more good vibes adn let you know that I am thinking of you. Sending you big virtual hugs. {{{HUGS}}}
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